My6inchchallenge's Blog

Tackling difficulties and overcoming the challenges life serves up – by Dona Halliday

Love on the rocks – A gentler me

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It’s been some time since I ended the relationship I wrote about in my earlier blog “Love on the rocks – I’m not insecure!” But I’ve come to realize that insecurities can manifest themselves in different ways. The need to be constantly reassured or reaffirmed in certain areas may be a silent cry that we are not feeling good about ourselves in that particular thing. We don’t feel secure, we don’t think we measure up, and we just need to hear once again that we are ok, we’re accepted, we’re loved.

Insecurity is an awful thing. It makes us needy, unsure of ourselves, accusing, demanding and unaware that we are more than our flaws, and sometimes the people we try so hard to hold on to, leave us because of how our insecurities play themselves out.

Maybe if I had the understanding then that I have now I would have been able to more effectively build this person up and relay the “Stone Mountain” incident differently. But over the years, I see emerging a “gentler me”, and the gentler me would love to have said to him, “you’re really ok. Look at all these areas you’re gifted in. Do you know how special you are to?

My heart breaks for the people who have been hurt, when someone’s leaving have caused more pain and have increased their insecurities. But heartbreak is a normal part of life, even the people who genuinely care about us can cause us pain, it’s one of life’s challenges that we have to live with. But also realize, that when someone leaves, it creates the opportunity for us to take some time and work on ourselves. As we find the value in who are then maybe we can find the person who will complement us best.

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