My6inchchallenge's Blog

Tackling difficulties and overcoming the challenges life serves up – by Dona Halliday

Killing me softly – Relationships & disrespect

Relationships - love and cherish, not disrespect

"A challenge to love and live out your own beauty"

“You need to write about relationships,” she said, “because I can’t believe she’s still hanging on to him, he even has a new profile picture on his Facebook page with another girl!” I could hear the frustration and anger in her voice as she told me about this college student she had recently talked with. The anger sounded way too personal and I knew that the incident was taking her back to another life and a relationship she had experienced.

Before long she started talking about her past relationship, and as I wondered how her pain could still sound so fresh after 20 plus years it finally hit me. “You were disrespected,” I said to her. And it seemed having a label for it helped her, as she agreed she asked, “Do you know what really bothers me?” then continued without waiting for a reply, “I never said anything, I just took it, I never confronted him.” She then went on to tell of an incident when she went over to his place, he was not there but his room-mate let her in, she went to his bedroom to get something, there on the wall where a picture of both of them had been was a picture of him, and, “the other girl”.

I know there are many reasons why we end relationships. Sometimes we just don’t have the same values, we’re not heading in the same direction, the person is nice but he/she is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you discover it’s not love after all, and then there is the “D” word, you are disrespected continually.

The problem with disrespect if you allow it to continue is that you soon start believing the lies and it’s as if something in you starts to die. The lies that you are not valuable, you are not worth being cherished and respected,  that your opinions don’t count, you do not have a voice. And before long it seems that the best part of who you are has died and you find yourself not only allowing others to disrespect you but you start disrespecting yourself as well–behaving in ways that are beneath you.

So whether you are 20 something or 60 something if you are in a dating relationship where you are not loved, cherished, valued, I have 6 simple suggestions:

1. Let go and let go now

2. Invest time in the journey of self-discovery. Discover the amazing person you are and start loving that person, all of you. I promise you when you start accepting and loving yourself you will never give yourself to anyone who will treat you cheaply or who cannot see your value

3. Refuse to compromise. Know what’s important to you and hold steadfastly to your core beliefs and values, it’s never worth it to trade them for a relationship

4. Be patient. Be willing to watch and learn. Entering into a relationship with someone who is not comfortable or secure with who they are can be extremely difficult. If you do, they may keep trying to change you to compensate for their insecurities.

5. As you learn about yourself do not play the comparison game, someone elses beauty and uniqueness do not in any way threaten yours. I challenge you to love and live out your own beauty

6. Refuse to be tossed about by other people’s opinion of you. From my view-point God’s opinion is what really matters. Enlist his grace to live by His values as best as you can and when you fail go to him and go at it again.

This is Dona Halliday encouraging you “to go through your challenge to your transformation.”

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5 Comments»

  Jnel wrote @

The truth ” love is not all that matters”. However loving someone and having to let go is not the easiest thing in world… I know all to well…

The points you list are indeed a good way to find out what is and isn’t and rediscovering who you’re is the best way to love and heal one self…

ahhh easier said than done… ” to go through my challenge to my transformation” looking forward none the less to the end result

  my6inchchallenge wrote @

Miss J, your beauty and strength is obvious to me already. From experience as well — letting go of someone you may think at the moment you can’t possibly live without feels like torture, but amazing we live on, we heal, and, we enjoy life. I can honestly say I have no regrets from the relationships I’ve left, I’m loving my life and looking forward to the future.

  my6inchchallenge wrote @

I would so love to talk with the person who questioned if Zumba is unchristian. If you check in again please let’s chat, or let’s connect via facebook.
Anyone would like to share their opnion on “Is Zumba Unchristian?”

  mbt shoes wrote @

nice share, good article, very usefull for me…thanks

  personal software wrote @

great share, great article, very usefull for me…thank you


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