My6inchchallenge's Blog

Tackling difficulties and overcoming the challenges life serves up – by Dona Halliday

Relationships — Thank God for Unanswered Prayers

Relationships and dating

Relationships - When God says, "No"

Monday, 5:30a.m. I stood in the kitchen thinking. I needed to prepare something healthy for my mid-morn and afternoon snacks–without flour and high in protein. I felt creative so I came up with butternut squash muffins. I stood peeling and chopping the squash preparing to put them in the boiling water and something about that must have triggered a memory. Before I knew it I was sitting on a stool in his kitchen as he cooked. I would have preferred to help but he preferred if I just sat and watched while we talked. This was about 14 years ago.

We had been dating for a while and I can still remember that the thing I loved most about the relationship was when we were together he would reach over and take my hand caressing it lightly and we would talk or just sit in silence. I love the intimacy of physical touch that’s without an agenda, with the understanding that it’s not a prelude to any, it’s just connecting through touch.

I had met him at church. It had taken me a while to realize that he was interested in me and a little while longer for me to be interested in him. He was the kind of guy who everyone liked both young and old. I smiled as I remembered him saying, while I was yet unconvinced about going out with him, “there’s not much about me not to like, I’m real easy to love”. But nothing had prepared me for the temper that was unleashed that day in the kitchen. Some unresolved thing from a past relationship he had explained, had triggered his anger, it was sudden and frightening as he started shouting, and then it was over.

I still remember going home that evening and thinking about a few days before when I had literally bawled and accused God of not wanting to give me anything I wanted.  “Why can’t I have him”, I had cried “I want him, HIM!” Why the hysterics? Because I had known several days before his angry outburst that the relationship was not for me, it was time to let it go.

As I came back to the present, laughing out loud (I found my “I want him” declaration, from a normally very calm and sensible person, so amusing)  I once again thanked God for his love and wisdom for not granting that prayer, and many others since then.

I looked down and realized that my butternut squash muffin was turning into a butternut squash surprise. I had added eggs, tuna, peanut butter and crushed raisin bran cereal. Quite an unusual combination that did not taste that great, but, it lacked seasoning. So I added a little salt and some black pepper and continued to season to taste. I actually ended up with something that was quite good.

As I spooned the surprise into muffin cups and stuck them in the oven I thought about my life. I was delighted with the thought that the one who created all things and declared them to be good had his hands in my life. A Dona-surprise is in the making, the challenge is to be still in this process of becoming. I have released certain things that I thought at the time were a necessary part of my life and some things have been added that if it were up to me I would have said no to, but something unusual is in the making, peculiar really, somewhat sweet, somewhat spicy but altogether, beautiful.

This is Dona Halliday challenging you to be patient in the process as you await your transformation.

I love the message in this song, take a listen: In His Time



  nobusysignal wrote @

Good word here Dona. I had similar experience of seeing some one later on in life and thinking whew, thank you Jesus, How wrong I was, how unhappy I would have been. Side bar: Prayer request here, I’ve got a lot going on right about now. Nothing bad, it’s all good really, but it’s a distraction to my blog posting. Maybe a little heavenward cheer leading from your side of the fence might help. Thanks.

  my6inchchallenge wrote @

HI nobusysignal, just want to say thanks once again. You have become a great encourager to me and I appreciate that so much.
I have and will continue to pray that God will bless you with clarity and focus so that you can accomplish all the things that you need to accomplish and that He will guide and bless you in every area of your life.

  Jnel wrote @

In many of your blogs I can relate, but this is so much so closer to home. Thanks for expressing what i needed to say out loud…

  Ted wrote @

Very interesting post from a unique perspective. Relationships can be complicated and interesting at the same time, but one must always make sure that he/she is anchored on HIM.

  my6inchchallenge wrote @

Thanks for sharing Ted. There’s much truth here — in every area of life having our anchor placed in God is what keeps us steady no matter what life brings.

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