My6inchchallenge's Blog

Tackling difficulties and overcoming the challenges life serves up – by Dona Halliday

Hush, little baby… shattering the silence around abuse

Hush little baby, don’t say a word, papa’s gonna BUY you a….

It’s only as an adult I’m realizing what terrible messages some of the nursery rhymes I’ve loved as a child and still do, have. What things, I wonder, are bartered for the voices of our children?… There’s nothing wrong with what we are doing, so, Hush, little baby, don’t say….

It may start earlier than we think, that devaluing of the voice. How often do we buy our children things to keep them quiet, throw out hasty promises just so we could be left alone, buy bigger houses so we can hide in our individual spaces… Hush, little baby, don’t say a word…

Something so tragic has been alleged in the body of Christ that I’ve just wanted to hide from it, turn off the news, shut it out. For in a case like this, it’s impossible for the body of Christ to take arms and start a war against opposing sides, for we are ALL the body of Christ, accused and accusers alike — the discovery of truth when you weren’t there, can often be a long journey.

But the message we do not want to send to our children and young people is that no one will stand for them or with them when they use their voices. That no one is interested in discovering the truth.

As members of the body of Christ, there are so many unproductive things we can do at this time. Mostly, I’ve wanted to pray, and one of the things I’m praying is,  “Lord, clean up your body,” and lest you should think me too self-righteous, I always remember to ask Him to start with me.

I may offend some by saying this, but in the church many of us became experts at hiding and covering up sexual sins or improprieties, ours and others. Maybe, as a friend said, it’s time for the church to stop the pretense and deal openly with our issues. For, there are somethings that need to be denied breath so they can die, and there are others that need to be exposed to the light so healing and transformation can take place.

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5 Comments»

  bet365 wrote @

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  Anonymous wrote @

You are right about the sexual sins especially from the leaders of the cloth. I still remember one who gave us a handful of candy after singing sunday school songs but pushed the candy in our laps and was always feeling. When I told my guardian, she told me that he is a pastor and I am crazy. I was uncomfortable and I knew there was something wrong but since I got shot down by my guardian, I dare not go to anyone else. There were other kids there but when I asked them, they said they cannot remember. Selective amnesia I said to myself. They remembered but they have chosen to forget or are too ashamed to talk about it. But this went on for almost 6 months. And my report was brushed aside, I found things to do instead of being around for sunday school. Never mind I was beaten and punished, at least he was not pushing candy in my lap and touching me inappropriately. I’m 50 and it still haunts me to this day. I was under 10 when it happened and this is why I have not step foot in a church. It will take time to get me back there but right now- no. How dare he? and How dare our parents not to believe?

Thank you for touching on such a forbidden subject.

  my6inchchallenge wrote @

Hi Anonymous,
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. It never ceases to amaze me how things that happened so long ago can still negatively impact our lives today. But there is something about being violated that sticks with us. I was robbed a few years after moving to Atlanta and though it was only stuff that was taken the violation affected me for a while creating fear and distrust. When someone steals the innocence of someone else (even an inappropriate touch) it is devastating, especially when it’s a person who is in a position of authority and is in many ways there as an overseer of our souls, a representative of God — that can mess not only with our minds but also our idea of who God is. What I do need to say, though, is that any person who does that, and especially to a child does not in any way represent the character or heart of God. Unfortunately, even selfish people who are still mastered and driven by their own desires and lust hold positions in the church. However, what I would hate more than anything else, my friend, is for this man who did not represent God at all by his actions hinder you from getting to know the very heart of God and the healing and empowering love that God freely offers — God loves YOU and desires an intimate relationship with you! The challenging thing is, that even though someone does something harmful to us, the task is left up to us to seek healing, to forgive and ensure that someone so weak and cowardly does not have power over the rest of our lives. Thanks so much for sharing a part of your life with me and my hope is that parents will help to break this culture of silence by talking with and listening to their children.

  Anonymous wrote @

Thank you for your kind, encouraging words. It gives me another perspective to look at it from.

  my6inchchallenge wrote @

You are welcome, Anonymous. I pray you have a productive and joy-filled week.


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