My6inchchallenge's Blog

Tackling difficulties and overcoming the challenges life serves up – by Dona Halliday

Archive for loved

Love on the rocks – A gentler me

CIMG1182

It’s been some time since I ended the relationship I wrote about in my earlier blog “Love on the rocks – I’m not insecure!” But I’ve come to realize that insecurities can manifest themselves in different ways. The need to be constantly reassured or reaffirmed in certain areas may be a silent cry that we are not feeling good about ourselves in that particular thing. We don’t feel secure, we don’t think we measure up, and we just need to hear once again that we are ok, we’re accepted, we’re loved.

Insecurity is an awful thing. It makes us needy, unsure of ourselves, accusing, demanding and unaware that we are more than our flaws, and sometimes the people we try so hard to hold on to, leave us because of how our insecurities play themselves out.

Maybe if I had the understanding then that I have now I would have been able to more effectively build this person up and relay the “Stone Mountain” incident differently. But over the years, I see emerging a “gentler me”, and the gentler me would love to have said to him, “you’re really ok. Look at all these areas you’re gifted in. Do you know how special you are to?

My heart breaks for the people who have been hurt, when someone’s leaving have caused more pain and have increased their insecurities. But heartbreak is a normal part of life, even the people who genuinely care about us can cause us pain, it’s one of life’s challenges that we have to live with. But also realize, that when someone leaves, it creates the opportunity for us to take some time and work on ourselves. As we find the value in who are then maybe we can find the person who will complement us best.

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We Just Need Three “Good Men”

Men of honor needed. As we seek to find the "good" in others may we also work on developing those "good" characteristic in our selves. On my 6 inch challenge blog

Yours, mine and hers

In a recent conversation with my mom she instructed me to be on the lookout for three good men; “one for me”, she said, “one for you and one for your sister”. We both laughed at the comment at the time, but I also remember her saying what I have heard so many others say, it’s so hard to find “good men”.

It’s interesting to me that even though we have so much, we talk so often about what we lack. Lack of resources, of money; lack of jobs – good jobs, of education; lack of men – good men, of women – good women; lack of relationships – meaningful relationships.

With so many family members, friends, and acquaintances who are single it seems a bit selfish to be concerned only about us three. What would happen, I wonder, if we all decided to become the “good” that we seek in others.

We may long for honesty, authenticity, kindness, generosity and compassion in others, but what if we made it a priority to develop these same characteristics in ourselves. We may desire to be loved, respected and even cherished but if we examine our lives are we showing love and respect to the people who are in our lives and the people who cross our paths.

I would like to think that if we concentrated on becoming the “good” that we desire in others we’ll find that we become, better mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, spouses, friends, and just maybe the “good” that we desire will be available in abundance.

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