My6inchchallenge's Blog
Tackling difficulties and overcoming the challenges life serves up – by Dona HallidayArchive for Challenges
KISS me slowly, sweetheart. In honor of breast cancer awareness month
Find help to remain strong when dealing with the challenges of Breast Cancer
Kiss me slowly, sweetheart, she whispered. It was another one of their games she had invented after being diagnosed with breast cancer.
Life had been such a whirlwind before. Their schedules hardly allowed them time together. They would dash off to work at mornings and fall into bed exhausted at nights. With schedules and functions and staying focused on that damnable goal they would throw each other a quick kiss accompanied by a sleepy goodnight and drift off to sleep.
Why does it take something devastating to make us reevaluate our lives? How do we lose sight of the really important things so easily?
Sabina and Sebastian had been stunned after they had received the diagnosis – Sabina had Stage III breast cancer. In the midst of the decision-making, surgery and treatments they had needed help to just cope with it.
One morning as Sebastian had brushed her lips with a kiss, she had wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, “Kiss me slowly, sweetheart.” She hated this terrible disease and what it had done to her body but loved this person she never knew her husband could be.
It was he who had told her to ask for the KISS principle or any variations of it when she needed it. When things got overwhelming, she would say, “Keep It Simple, Sweetheart.” Shortly after, that had morphed in any request she could invent that involved the word kiss and they had found pure, simple fun even in their tragedy as they tried to out do each other’s level of creativity.
Sabina had excellent doctors, her faith in God had been challenged and strengthened, her love for Sebastian had deepened, yet she knew tomorrow was not promised. She had to love and live well, today.
So whatever you are going through:
• Find the “simple” in the midst of it
• Allow yourself to be loved
• Have fun with those in your space
• Remember your faith in God CAN bear up beneath tough challenges
• …and if you have someone to share a kiss with – take it slow and savor it – tomorrow is not promised.
Don’t Judge Me!
That Sunday afternoon found me in the kitchen chopping veggies as I prepared Sunday lunch.
I was wearing my “intelligent design, interior shorts,” with matching green shoes and an orange floral top–exposing my shoulders, midriff and thighs.
The door opened and in walked my mom, Laura and Laura’s cousin. “I love your outfit,” she said, as she gave me a hug. I turned to her with mocked seriousness and said, “You know I did not wear THIS to church?” She laughed, then responded, “Even if you wore it to church, I would not judge you. I’d just figure if that’s how you want to do church, you should do you.”
What is it about that generation, I wonder, that make them so quick to state that they neither pass judgment or want to be judged. Are they correcting some flaw they saw in the generations before them? Is there possibly some confusion about values, right, wrong and the act of passing judgment? Or is there something that we all can learn from them?
Let’s explore…
Her name is Saffron. She’s deathly still as she sits in her car. There is no life in her eyes, except for the tears welling up in them. Until, as if suddenly jolted to life, she starts pounding on her steering wheel, crying, “My life HAS to change, I can’t live like this anymore…”
She turns on her car and starts driving, noticing for the first time how many churches she passes on her way home. In her 21 years she had never been to church except for weddings, and she’d never had a desire to go. …The HOPE Cathedral; New Beginnings; Changing A Generation; A Church For The Community; Whosoever Will Come; Lifesavers Ministries; The Love Center; Haven of Rest… She kept reading the signs, her heart yearning for what they all promised…
She pulled in the parking lot, slipped out of the car then with horror realized she had not thought about how she was dressed. She was still wearing her shorts and high heels from the previous night and shame gripped her once again as she debated returning to car and going home. She was so tired, tired of her life the way it was, tired of where her choices took her and so tired of feeling ashamed.
She slipped in the back door hoping to sit in the back pew, unnoticed. Instead, it took an eternity to get to the open seat in the middle of the church. As heads turned and eyes stared, she fought to hold back her tears. “Would someone just help me?” her heart cried?
…If this was “your church” how would they respond?
Would the Outreach Ministry present Christ to her? Would the intercessors be crying out on her behalf? Godly women who had been taught to be uncomfortable about their bodies and made to feel insecure in their relationships, would they view her suspiciously, wishing she had gone elsewhere? Would the older women, steeped with propriety be able to see pass her attire and discern her need?
Would the men offer her Christ or themselves? Would they be so comfortable with a life of continued sin to confidently offer her Christ AND themselves?
What would I do?
What would you do? Would our actions make it difficult for her to receive the Word?
Would Saffron find Christ at the Church or would she find selfishness and judgment?
Seize the little fox that threatens the vineyard – the bad is good for you
“…give into the temptation …..sometimes the bad is good for you, lol.” We had been messaging back and forth on Facebook and when this reply came through I felt an obligation to correct such faulty reasoning. However, somewhere between finding the right response and typing it I was distracted by a thought, “…hmm, he might be right, it will only take me about two minutes to drive there.
I sat for a while, “scheming”. I had been at home sick for the week and the last thing I felt like doing was getting dressed and leaving the house.
Note to self: Beware of encouragement that pushes you in the wrong direction.
It seemed that was all I needed, a little encouragement. I pulled open the closet doors, Aha! pulled out a knee-length winter coat – thick enough to keep me warm, (I had a fever that was giving me chills,) yet short enough so that I did not look totally crazy – slipped it on, and headed to the car.
Note to self: the bad might feel good to you, (and sometimes only for a short while), so stop deceiving yourself, it is never good for you.
“I love ’em! I hate ’em! I love ’em! I hate ’em, I really, really hate ’em”
Now, if from the start I had been truly honest with myself I could have avoided this emotional roller coaster, the abdominal pain, the sick feeling in my stomach, the headache, the regret, and that voice that always comes after – “Dona, you’ve been here before, you know better, how many times will you repeat this cycle before you learn.”
Have you ever been there? That place of after, called regret. For before, you were certain you could not do without “that thing”. You listened to the desire that said “Oh, just try it, if you don’t like it you can just move on.” Now you are caught in this cycle. Long after you’ve started hating “the thing,” you find yourself unable to move on.
Note to self: be careful what you give yourself to. You may find yourself in a lifelong struggle driven by some physical desire or psychological connection.
Thank God it was only Cheetos, that crunchy deliciousness that makes me sick every time. And the Cheetos pusher? My nephew. But don’t miss the point, always examine the long view when choices offer immediate and short-term gratification. Learn how to seize and destroy those thoughts and suggestions that are planted to destroy your vineyard.
Boot Camp Blessings – Physical, Spiritual & Emotional Training
Challenged to Transform
I wanted to lay some ground rules after I signed up for boot camp, compliments of Sherri Adair/Best Self Magazine Atlanta, so I sent an email to Kevin at The American Boot Camp Company stating, “…I’ve never liked working out hard, I don’t really run…, I want to start at a comfortable place… I love my workout being fun…”
If I had done my homework I would have known that boot camp was not the place for that mentality— that’s like showing up for life, stating, “I don’t do conflict, I don’t do challenges and I want life to happen on my time, every time.
There are certain things we can change, but some things were designed to change us. Knowing the difference will determine how we respond to life’s challenges and who we become as we go through and emerge.
Here are 6 lessons about Boot Camp Blessings:
1. I wanted to show up for boot camp and just walk the park and listen to the birds. The rewards of a boot camp and those of walking the park are completely different – Choose the thing that will get you the results you desire.
2. At night when I’m tired and hurting I remember how much I hate boot camp. In the morning when I’m rested, I’m excited and eager to go – Don’t make decisions that can change the quality of your life when you are vulnerable and driven by your emotions, things have a way of looking better in the morning.
3. On Thursday after 6am as I knelt on the cold, wet grass, doing painful, ridiculous things that are supposed to tone me, lift me and shape me, with the head trainer shouting “WORK THOSE GLUTES!!” I found myself thinking, “I really don’t need that good-looking a bottom…” In the midst of challenges, quiet your negative thoughts and focus on the big picture. Looking better is just icing — being healthier, stronger and a better you IS the big picture.
4. Every time I decided to “sit it out” I heard several voices going, “Come on Dona, you got this, you can do it!” The task of your trainer is to push you, stretch you, challenge you, encourage you and produce growth…. even when it hurts, angers and irritates you.
5. It’s Sunday evening and I’m more prepared for my week than I’ve ever been. Clothing? In car! Breakfast/Lunch? READY TO GO! If you look at this the wrong way you can go through the discomfort, the difficulties and the pain of it and still miss it – Don’t miss the things designed to discipline and mature you. Be trained by them!
6. Do the work – exercise, eat right, rest well and expect to see results. The evening after my first workout I headed to “Y” to soak my aching muscles in their whirlpool. As I jumped into my tankini and boy shorts I looked in the mirror and declared, “I see results already!”
It’s time to accept those who are different
“I’d have to change my response to the wedding vows from ‘I will’ to ‘I’ll do my best with God’s help’.” That did not go over very well with the minister and his wife with whom I was having this conversation. It was years ago, I don’t even recall why we were talking about this, but my response had greatly offended him and his response had not hidden that fact.
It keeps amazing me that people can seem to be getting along so well, yet offenses, misunderstandings, differences and disagreements can not only divide us, but cause an end to relationships, or even worst, cause people to make enemies of each other.
Time teaches that differences/disagreements/etc are normal happenings in life. However, I think the greater lesson is that our responses can paint very accurate pictures of where we are at various stages, and therefore can be the impetus for personal growth.
The idea of standing before God and saying, “I will,” to me meant writing a blank cheque of commitment to someone as we stepped in an unknown future, and it filled me with terror. Yet, in “Meeting God at Every Turn” as I read Philip Lader’s vow to Linda Ann LeSourd (Catherine Marshall’s stepdaughter), something within me exhaled and I finally got it.
Part of Philip’s beautifully written vow read, “…the “I will” said today is not so much fact accomplished, as responsibility assumed… you and I are commissioned by this wedding to make God’s love believable to the world. By His grace however, we have different gifts, and these beg quarrels. When frustrated by your tenacity of opinion, I shall not waive my own, but shall honestly and patiently seek resolution…”
When I think of how different we are — we can respond to conflicts, successes, challenges, pain, disagreements and even pleasure differently. Even if we’ve been raised in the same household we can still respond to life in very different ways. I believe our differences were meant to be complementary and not used as reasons for division.
However, as we live out life in its varying arenas – relational, religious, political, etc. “making God’s love believable to the world” still seems the most difficult thing for us to do?
In Acts chapter 10 Peter was being transformed by God’s lesson on acceptance. In a vision, as Peter dismissed the very idea of eating or being involved in any way with “unacceptable” things transformation took place when he exchanged his way of seeing things for God’s way. It was time for the hostility between Jews and Gentiles to be faced, for hearts to be opened and for arms to be extended in love to the unacceptable.
God’s purpose has not changed, his reconciling love has always been extended to the whosoever – no matter how wide the cultural or ethnic divide. His heart has not changed, He still desires that ALL persons be brought into an intimate relationship with Him.
Acceptance becomes easier, I believe, when we realize that we would have been included with those who were condemned as unacceptable. Unacceptable, but for God’s grace and His command of not calling anything impure (unacceptable) that He had made clean.
As we represent Christ, His love, grace, mercy & forgiveness have to be the guide to our interactions with the “different” people in our world. His love has to touch those who have been destined to walk in the reach of His light that shines through us, and His acceptance of the whosoever has to be the standard by which we measure our acceptance of others.
Impelled at the point of surrender
Have you ever started a journey to a certain place, yet found yourself in a different location realizing that it was where you needed to be all along?
As I continued my study in Acts I started listing the different seasons of the early church: times of power and growth, peace and favor, obedience and courage, death and persecution…
Stephen had just been stoned to death and Acts 8:1 says, “…a great persecution broke out against the church… and all except the apostles were scattered …” These acts of persecution that were intended to destroy the church were being used by God to fulfill the great commission. Once again I felt unsettled by the reminder that God still allows, and moves through painful and discomforting circumstances.
I was amazed by the actions of the disciples, for though they had been thrust from their places of comfort, security and familiarity it is recorded that they preached the Word in all the “displaces” of their persecution.
Once again I was led to one of Catherine Marshall’s books, “Meeting God At Every Turn.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to track down her book, but at a time when we are being taught to declare and decree what we want, to demand an end to our discomfort — what about a time of surrender? Trusting God to work through us to accomplish His purpose no matter in what season we find ourselves.
“In Meeting God at Every Turn”, as Mrs Marshall traversed through some tough decisions and challenges she does this intentional probing of her life, her heart, her motives. As she examined her life, I started examining mine, and felt deeply shaken by the awareness that there was a part of me that I kept closed, protected, even from God. Protected from that place of complete surrender, lest surrender takes me the way of Calvary — that place of “others-living,” where it’s not about my space and comfort but it’s a willingness to deny me, ALWAYS, for the cause of Christ.
This is the place where I had not intended to journey but was a journey that I needed to make — broken, honest and exposed before God, I surrendered everything…
One thing I know about the Word is that it’s active and alive. It probes our heads and hearts, challenges our places of comfort, exposes our motives and reveals hidden things with the intention of transforming our lives. For if the Word has no power to impact our living, if there is no intimate personal relationship with our Savior, if there is no indwelling of the Spirit to empower, lead and counsel, if there is no Difference Maker, then what would be the point? We could do life anyway we see fit. But at the point of our surrender to God, I’m convinced that’s when we are most powerful, where no matter what impels us, our hearts and lives can affirm, God’s Kingdom come, His will be done….
What if I *saw the beggar – A time for healing
It was night-time and I wondered if he still hoped that tomorrow would be different. Was it really possible for him to remain hopeful for 20, 30, 40 years? I couldn’t imagine being in his state — for he awoke every morning, seemingly powerless — having to be carried from place to place, bathed, fed, clothed, then taken to perform his daily work. He was a beggar.
He enjoyed sitting outside though, for here, surrounded by beauty, he had dreams that his life would be different. He was pulled from his day dreaming by the bustle around him. He realized that it must be almost 3pm – prayer time, it was like clockwork.
He did not like this time. It got very busy, but as the people passed through the gate pressing their way to the temple he could not bear to see how they looked at him. So with his head down cast, he said in his practiced, upbeat tone, “Anything for the poor and cripple? Anything…?”
Some passed by as though they did not hear, some in a rush to get inside to pray did not even notice him there, but every now and again he would hear the tingle of coins as they fell into his can.
He tried not to become discouraged, but he had hoped that something miraculous would happen here, at the gate called Beautiful. He’d heard about the Nazarene and his power to heal, but he had never met Him. He’d heard that His disciples came to the temple to pray and wondered if they could do the same miraculous things that He had done.
“Anything for the poor and cripple, Anything…?” His mind was far away, he had said those words so many times he did not need to think about them. He was surprised when he saw two pair of legs stop in front of him, “Look at us!” one of them commanded. He looked into their eyes, afraid to find the familiar look of disgust, but instead he saw compassion.
“Silver and gold I do not have…” the man had continued. But it was ok, his look of compassion had been like a balm, soothing and healing the years of disregard and disdain. “…but what I have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!”
So they had been with the Christ! he thought. He felt his ankles becoming strong as the man reached out his hand and pulled him to his feet. As he leaped and jumped around like a child he raised his voice in praise. He was healed!
After sometime he asked the man, “Have I not seen you here before? “Peter’s my name,” the man had responded, ” and this is John, and yes, we’ve been here many times before.” He looked at them hesitantly and said, “you seem so different, may I ask what happened?”
“Pentecost happened,” Peter said. “An empowering by the Holy Spirit has taken place, an enabling to DO, to impart God’s power to affect change in the lives of others.
God’s power has been given. If you feel crippled or powerless by the tough challenges of life, it is 2012 the time for healing, time to arise and do.
*See – to give attention and care to
When love does not come quickly
Keep looking up and wait!
I have to confess that in the past I would end relationships in a heartbeat because of some action or inaction that I construed to be unloving. If the truth be told, many of us who desire to love and be loved can find that our greatest obstacle is the ideal love that we seek.
Just imagine you are dating a physician, and during that time you fall dreadfully ill. You reach him on his cell to let him know and he tells you he’s just a few blocks away visiting friends, and he’ll be there shortly. You wait, and wait, and wait…. Then, several days later he pops by to “see how you are getting along…”
What happens when love does not come quickly? When the actions that give life to our words of love do not immediately show up to protect, care for and defend. I think with maturity we realize — not just from the imperfect love we have received but also from the imperfect love we have shown — that love can fall short of expectations and even with our best efforts we can still hurt those we love. We are human.
But what happens when God acts like that?
Is it unsettling to realize that God DOES NOT always show up and deliver us when we want Him to? That Love does not always run quickly to our aid? Remember that story about Lazarus? The sisters of Lazarus send word to Jesus telling Him that the one He loves, Lazarus, is ill. I had to check several bible versions because I was unsettled by the “So” in this version. Look at this! “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. SO, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.
Really? That makes no sense. We can understand if love is unexpectedly detained but it’s difficult to understand a love that intentionally and deliberately delays when needed. What was Jesus up to? Why did he wait until Lazarus had died before he showed up?
There can sometimes be so much uncertainty while we wait. Not to mention the increasing pressure that our challenges can bring. But, is it worth the wait if somewhere during that process we encounter The Resurrection and The Life? An encounter not just through mere word, but through an experience where we see God in action.
When love does not come quickly, keep looking up and don’t give out in the process. One certainty in the midst of all uncertainties is that God really loves us and His love is the only ideal. The “so” becomes easier to understand when we realize that Jesus had a purpose in waiting. Challenges test our faith, but challenges also give us an opportunity, if we believe, to see the miraculous display of God’s power that will result in His glory.
Jehovah-Jireh and the little black dress
The Lord will provide
I believe symbols are imperative, for as a people we are sometimes prone to forgetfulness. Often in the Old Testament the people of God were instructed to hold on to something, even an ordinary thing, as a reminder of the extraordinary display of God’s power.
In Exodus 16, Moses instructed Aaron to take some manna and keep it for generations to come so that they can be reminded that God provided bread in the desert.
In Joshua 4, Joshua instructed 12 men to take 12 rocks from the middle of the Jordan River so that in the future it can be remembered that on their way to possess the land that God had given them, He had cut off the flow of the river so that His people could pass over on dry land.
Manna, rocks and my little black dress have something in common, they are reminders that Jehovah will provide.
I had purchased my dress more than a year ago and on Tuesday evening as I slipped into that dress once again to attend the 2011 NARI CotY (Contract of the Year) Awards I was definitely in need of that reminder. I had spent days pouring over John’s account of the feeding of the five thousand (John 6) and found myself stuck at Andrew’s response to Jesus.
Read the story again, and see if you find yourself there. I certainly did. The crowd had followed Jesus and He had ministered to them by teaching them and healing them. It was now late and they were hungry. The only food in their midst is discovered by Andrew, it’s a poor boy’s lunch. Andrew brings it to Jesus and says, “Here is a boy with 5 small barley loaves and two fish, but how far will they go among so many?”
Do you find yourself being challenged by those “HOW” questions? How long, how far, how much, how soon, how in the world is this possible?
Let me tell you about the little black dress. It happened over a year ago the night before an event I was to attend. I’d decided to get creative with something I’d had for years, but that night in my dreams I saw a little black bubble dress. The next day as I took a shortcut through a store to get to my car I turned around just as I was about to exit the building and hanging on the wall was my black dress.
It’s significant to me to remember that had I not seen it in my dreams I would have turned back around and headed out the door. But when I saw my dress I got it from the wall and took it to the cashier. When I inquired about the price she had no idea and after checking with management she came back, scanned random items behind her, and I left with a gorgeous, black dress for which I paid $9.97.
The dress is my symbol, it reminds me that even when I give away what I need, God has the power to take what little I have left and show Himself as Jehovah-Jireh. He’s our God, our provider.
I love Jesus’ response to Andrew’s question. He simply instructs them to have the people sit in the green pastures.
How far can 5 loaves and 2 fish go? As far as Jesus commands them to. Jesus took the poor boy’s lunch, gave thanks for the little that was available, and did what in the natural 8 months wages could not do, he provided for the people until they were satisfied.
Jesus is still answering those how questions. Whenever we feel as if what we have or who we are is not enough, take it to Jesus and trust Him to make up the difference.
Spiritual lessons from Sir Nibbles
I’ve never given much thought to rabbits. Until recently all I knew was what I learned in elementary school – a male rabbit is called a buck, a female a doe and a baby a kitten. Very limited knowledge… until Sir Nibbles.
Sir Nibbles became the pet of my God-daughter and since I was excited about her having her first pet I certainly could not admit that the little furry things frighten me.
However, Sir Nibbles started growing on me as I got updates about his progress. I was thrilled when Sir Nibbs visited a farm with the family and found 3 other boy bunnies to hop around and play with. Sir Nibbles had made friends.
A few days ago, now about a month since the farm visit, I got some startling news. Apparently, the boy who worked at the pet store did not know his bunnies, for though he claimed that Sir Nibbles was a male and had been neutered, we found out that Sir Nibbles was not a Sir after all, but a Madame. Madame Nibbles, proven by the baby bunny she had delivered.
I gained a new level of respect for Madame Nibbles as the birthing of her bunny brought out characteristics, that though she had them all along, were manifested only through her challenge. Madame Nibbles started behaving like a mother, a protector, a provider! She shredded the newspaper that was in the bottom of her cage and tore out her own fur to prepare a nest for her baby. She then covered it to conceal its location and aggressively protected her young.
WoW! Great spiritual lessons for me from a bunny.
#1. Be trained into “becoming” by your challenges! If the creator could equip a bunny with the stuff that the different stages of its life will demand how much more has God equipped us.
#2. Love is active AND sacrificial. God has promised to take care of His children. He provides, covers, protects. Jesus sacrificed His life to reconcile humanity with His Father and beckons us, in the midst of every challenge, to run to Him and find rest.
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