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Tackling difficulties and overcoming the challenges life serves up – by Dona HallidayArchive for Spouse
Confessions of a practical romantic – knocked off my feet by love
Confessions of a practical romantic
As a child I loved fairy tales, I’m a lover of stories really. I loved getting lost in my own imagination and escape to a world of dreams. Somewhere along the way that child who loved fantasy grew to be extremely practical, especially when it comes to the things of love. I label myself “a practical romantic”.
I still enjoy getting lost in romantic comedies and fairy tales. I even enjoy well-known romantic things, like, taking long walks, playing in the rain, holding hands, spending time, etc. but unlike some of my friends, I’ve never had a longing to have someone show up on a white horse riding to my rescue. So the idea of being knocked off my feet by love is not something that I think can happen to me, I’m way too practical.
However, there are different kinds of love and there are different ways to be knocked off one’s feet. So, once upon a time, well, about two Wednesday nights ago, as I was leaving our Wednesday night bible study I spotted a very young friend of mine, she is about 5 years. I realized she had seen me so I stooped to get down to her level and opened my arms, she came running toward me then threw herself into my arms, unprepared for the impact I was knocked off my feet and landed on my bottom.
Several seconds after my bottom hit the floor, from behind, I felt these hands slip beneath my arms. Someone had seen me fall and had come to my rescue. Note to self, please learn to be gracious when being rescued …. for, as my rescuer tried to lift me from the floor I was resisting with my weight saying “Stop it, stop it, no…” (I really need to work on that “I can do it myself” attitude). Suddenly, the entire thing seemed very funny and I gave way to laughter. As I relaxed, the gentleman lifted me from the floor and I stood up laughing, saying “I can’t say I’ve never been knocked off my feet by love.” Once again I opened my arms to my young friend who was on the verge of tears, covering her face and trying to hide behind her mom. Once again she came running, I caught her, lifted her and hugged her close hoping to teach her never to embarrassed or ashamed when expressing genuine love.
Love is probably the most powerful force that we possess, yet somehow along the way we learn to accept and give its counterfeit, deny it, hide it, hold it back and protect ourselves from it.
But as we all learn to love better, this is Dona Halliday challenging you with some words from one of the most beautiful love stories I’ve seen, “A beautiful mind,” a movie based loosely on the life John Nash. “… I have made the most important discovery of my career – the most important discovery of my life. It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reason can be found. I am only here tonight because of you …” this said by John F. Nash to his wife as he received the Nobel Laureate in Economics — in the movie, his wife, who in spite of the fact discovered early in their marriage that he was schizophrenic, in spite of the fact that their marriage, because of his illness, held none of the romance she had dreamed of — she choose to love what she knew was inside him even though she could not see it, and exhibited the act of love that was so enduring that it took him all the way to the Nobel prize.
May we all discover a love like that within ourselves — definitely the kind that would knock one off ones’ feet.
Dirge Dancers — Challenge your troubles
Don’t let your hope die. Dead things CAN live again
Dirge_Dancers
Everything seemed lifeless, so still, so cold,
A sign read – “Death Lives Here,”
A piercing tune from beneath filled the air,
With a tale of doom and deep despair.
“Hope is dead,” it continuously said,
“Come bury your lifelong dreams,
Why don’t you give in, with this there’s no sin,'”
Sang that lying tongue from beneath.
“My hope is not dead,” I continuously said,
Then spoke life to my hopes and dreams,
Then I broke out in dance, and started this chant,
“God’s promises will NEVER cease.”
I danced for my mate, on God I will wait,
Raised praise for my hopes and dreams,
Then I sent up a shout, that was mighty & strong,
To still that lying tongue from beneath.
“Death was defeated a long time ago,
I will make no pact with the grave,
You will not deceive me, get thee behind,
For I know in whom I believe.”
I danced through my troubles, I danced through my storms,
I said goodbye to past pains,
I skipped over hardship, gave a nod at my needs,
Victory was about to reign.
I paused at my doubts, I meant to take that thing out,
So I started this victory dance,
As my faith kicked in, God said “Child you will win,”
And silenced that voice from within.
Trails won’t last, they will past, THEY WILL PAST,
Your life is safe in my hands,
Trust and don’t doubt, let Me work things out,
And change every dirge to a dance.
Places of Inspiration-The Art of Inspiring Change
About six months ago I started attending another church. This place has become one of the greatest sources of inspiration and influence in my life. A friend asked what I liked about the church and I replied that even though I found the teaching very profound, it was the simplicity (sincerity) and practicality that drew me.
I told her of a series we had done in December entitled “Before You Begin Again”. Lessons taught on making and sustaining changes in our relationships, changes in our lifestyle to affect levels of fitness and health, and changes in the way we view money, were all very insightful. But, this statement inspired me more than anything else “Just be kind, it costs nothing to be kind”.
That may seem quite elementary, but the truth is profound. I also remembered as a child one of my favorite bible verses was “And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
I believe the reason that statement affected me was because I realized I had strayed from the core of that message. For years, I have protected myself by not allowing most people to get too close to me. I have experienced moments though, when my heart must have escaped that protection, because those were the times I lived my best life.
As a result of being inspired and challenged, I’m allowing my heart the freedom of tenderness as it learns again, that living is about opening its door and genuinely loving and caring for others.
Offensive Positions – When Something Within Cries, “Attack!”
"Life's not a game, don't live it offensively."
The year is still young, and in spite of resolutions to grow, change and do better, we can find ourselves already taking familiar positions of offense. Offensive positions have once again been taken in families, among friends, with co-workers and even in churches. Familiar emotions of anger, bitterness, resentment and even envy have taken their places, and the calm resolve with which we may have determined to respond to challenges disappears, and in its place there is a voice that cries, “ATTACK!”.
With frustration, we realize that we handled this better, just yesterday, but the lesson here is that growth and change is no one-time victory. We can’t declare victory without vigilance in maintaining and protecting it.
I’ve found that being honest with myself is always the best approach to uproot and avert the re-emergence of negative emotions and bad habits. These are the steps I take to make sure that even though I may have lost a battle today, I can regroup and refocus so that I can have victories tomorrow.
• Take time to look at what I’m feeling and what the real issue is
• Be honest, no matter how ugly the truth
• Take action. Talk it through and be willing to own my part in the conflict
• Be willing to listen
• Be willing to forgive
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“O, that I had given him all!”
"The Path of Loneliness" by Elisabeth Elliot
In the book “The Path of Loneliness” by Elisabeth Elliot” she relays that there is an old story of a king who went into the village streets to greet his subjects. A beggar sitting by the roadside eagerly held up his almsbowl, sure that the king would give handsomely. Instead the king asked the beggar to give him something. Taken aback, the beggar fished three grains of rice from his bowl and dropped them into the king’s outstretched hand. When at the end of the day the beggar poured out what he had received, he found to his astonishment three grains of pure gold in the bottom of his bowl. O, that I had given him all!
Have you ever been in a relationship where it seems as if you are given just enough to “keep you from complaining”? Relating to people who are stingy in the way they love, in the way they support, in offering help, in being generous can make a relationship very difficult. These may be the type of people who always want to keep account of how much they’ve done and whose turn it is to do next.
I admit I have been stingy sometimes, holding back for some reason or another in sharing of myself, my time, even kindness-a kind word. So, as I work on my attitude, that is, the attitude of a generous spirit I hope to never say with regret “O, that I had given my all!”
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We Just Need Three “Good Men”
Yours, mine and hers
In a recent conversation with my mom she instructed me to be on the lookout for three good men; “one for me”, she said, “one for you and one for your sister”. We both laughed at the comment at the time, but I also remember her saying what I have heard so many others say, it’s so hard to find “good men”.
It’s interesting to me that even though we have so much, we talk so often about what we lack. Lack of resources, of money; lack of jobs – good jobs, of education; lack of men – good men, of women – good women; lack of relationships – meaningful relationships.
With so many family members, friends, and acquaintances who are single it seems a bit selfish to be concerned only about us three. What would happen, I wonder, if we all decided to become the “good” that we seek in others.
We may long for honesty, authenticity, kindness, generosity and compassion in others, but what if we made it a priority to develop these same characteristics in ourselves. We may desire to be loved, respected and even cherished but if we examine our lives are we showing love and respect to the people who are in our lives and the people who cross our paths.
I would like to think that if we concentrated on becoming the “good” that we desire in others we’ll find that we become, better mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, spouses, friends, and just maybe the “good” that we desire will be available in abundance.
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